In the Middle of My Thinking Universe

The little details keep mysteriously hidden until someone brings them up. I realized this after a question that was thrown randomly to me by my Composition class’s professor. She simply asked, expecting a direct and quick answer. This answer, frankly, has taken hours to cross my mind. To me, I see it as a simple yet complicated thing! Perhaps this is not the case with everyone, but the thing is, I did not feel myself continuously falling into those things except when I had heard the lively question that leads to them. This reminded me of the feelings of Donald M. Murray, a sophisticated writer who was surprised by the results he got after being interviewed by Carol Berkenkotter: “I realize how eccentric my work habits appear. I am aware of how fortunate I am to be able to work with my wife”(233). However, I think of my writing process more as a ritual than a habit. So, “What are your writing rituals?” my professor had asked.

As I drink my cup of coffee, or more accurately, feel its presence next to me while listening to a light soft music, the answer is being ensured to me. I wondered when and how these things stuck to me with writing, and I discovered that the Academic Bridge Programming played a big part of it. As a very, very beginner writer, I tried to escape from writing without admitting it to myself, to avoid the feeling of guilt. It was when my previous Composition class’s teacher first assigned us to write an article, a response paper, which was new to me. I went to Starbucks, ordered a coffee, and opened my laptop. I kept staring at the screen while listening to music to get into my own world far away from the outside noise. I started to type some words whose accuracy I do not actually remember, but from that point, I never left my coffee and headphones. Along with that, I now notice that I do play with my lips, which is a meaningless weird habit whenever I stop for a while, thinking of the sequence or phrasing of the next to-be-told sentence.

Prior to that, and while planning or brainstorming the ideas, I always walk. No matter where I am, at home or university, I keep endlessly walking until everything is settled and apparently done in my mind. I weirdly react with my thoughts, and I sometimes face problems with others because of my unbalanced expressions. Once my friend came to me hiding her laughs as she told me about her cousin who was saddened from me. I asked her about the reason, and she said that I saw her cousin, stumbling almost going to fall, and kept obviously smiling while looking down, nearly laughing at her; then my expressions changed and I frowned and bit my lips while looking away. They did not know that I was smiling to the idea I finally got for my next blog post, then got confused of how the opening of it would be; I did not even see or recognize her cousin in the middle of my thinking universe.

While writing, I keep anxiously looking away from the screen whenever my thoughts get mixed. I write, delete, and then write again endlessly. A single short paragraph can sometimes take me more than 30 minutes. I now notice, while keeping in mind that I want to know more about my doings as I write, that I get out of my own control even though I try to keep an eye on my actions; in other words, I realize them later. For the next writing assignment I receive, I am going to record the process, because I am certainly sure that I will know more about myself as a writer and will probably be just as surprised from the results as Donald Murray was.

                                                      Works Cited

Berkenkotter, Carol. "Decisions and Revisions: The Planning Strategies of a Publishing Writer." Writing about Writing: A College Reader. Eds. Elizabeth A. Wardle and Doug Downs. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2011. 216-28. Print.

Murray, Donald M. "Response of a Laboratory Rat-or, Being Protocoled." Writing about Writing: A College Reader. Eds. Elizabeth A. Wardle and Doug Downs. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2011. 230-35. Print.